3ve's wor1d

I haven't been making a wholllleee lot of music recently, just smashing out beats and not really finishing them, next project has kind of stagnated too. I've got the beats I want for it, but I do actually want to put lyrics to them, and have no idea where to start, on top of the fact I mix like total garbage (⁠๑⁠¯w¯⁠;;;๑⁠). Songwriting, like...honest to god songwriting, is wicked crazy hard as I'm learning, but I also don't know if I'm making it harder that it needs be, I have people and other things than can always help me with it but the whole process and even thinking about it is slowly burning through me, but I'll make it work I guess? One thing I'd say I want to work on is both getting ideas out and being able to finish those ideas, I'm not sure how to explain that without making my own head swim even though it's my own thought, but there is a proposed beginning and end to that problem and it's just up to us both to figure out the middle I s...

Sorry it's been a long while since I've actually shared one of these with y'all. But that's partially why I'm writing it, just havent had anything to talk about really (⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠;⁠). Luckily for you all to hear, I've been trying to force myself to enjoy life outside and away from making music for a little bit to help cleanse myself from the monotony of my plugg stuff and a bunch of other stuff I've had sidelined. But in the advent of having nothing pressing to think about, such as "oh what I'm I gonna write this on? What sounds do I want it to convey?" I've managed to put myself back into a loop of thinking about my past with people. For starters, I'm going to be setting myself up with therapy soon, even though my music is wordless and I don't let on easy, if you pay enough attention it's about time and I've needed it. Music hasnt been a catalyst but I haven't been performing at my best because I've been ov...

Since starting the flip projects ontop of some original songs, I've largely nailed down the typical patterns that go into them. I've played these games before, a back & forth of confidence in others to move a certain way, to somehow pry for a reaction to something. I have a hard time telling what's real in others and I feel bad about it, but doesn't everybody have some kind of difficulty with that? It's like I don't want to totally open up until I fully trust that I won't be screwed by it, it's bit me in the back before and if it's preventable I'd like to keep it that way. And I know everyone wants that easy connection to others, I mean that's how you make friends y'know, but going further than that or using it as a footstool has always felt like a cheap shot. So that's the goal of flips that I'm working on, I've really been bored with not being able to put words to my own music properly so I sidelined it again to try and...

If not already starting as such, I get weird easily, sideways, if you will. In turn I beat it out of me with a lot of emo music, which I've only come into recently as of about 2024-25 in the later and middle parts of those years respectively. While seeming disjointed, I've made mention of how I feel as if I listen to whatever is thrown at me, sometimes it'll take awhile to stick as well, but once I have a grasp on a sound I like I typically don't deviate from it. Such is the case with how I even got into listening to it, Fall Out Boy. Revered as one of their WORST albums, I started what I consider to be a landmark in my music career on Folie à Deux which holds great significance in my life now (and I can't even get it on CD without paying +$30 (–⁠‸—)) since it's all I could stomach listening to around April, and yet I have no idea why. It's one giant art project that in retrospect I can't see how it failed, consider A Fever You Cant Sweat Out came out in...

An unseen photo from the hike I took, on the route I generally take, been wanting to capture this exact photo in this exact style and framing for almost 2 years now. Part of the reason I went out was because I'm pretty stuck this time around. I usually do the same loop either way, given winter, spring, summer etc. but each time it's different as time rolls on and more people come through and thrash the area around so it always looks different. Typically if ever I'm looking for inspiration with almost anything I can find it on this hike around, but this time was different because I already knew for a few days prior what I wanted to get started on. I chopped a lot of samples and got some loops from stock Windows programs on an old laptop and have been working on those plus a few more plugg beats, sstep team stuff, one or two flips and something I'm new to which is wheel housing Elxnce type beats. Regardless those are generally unimportant, except for the Elxnc...

I got really mad at Twitter today which is something nobody should ever do and I would never wish it upon my enemies. FIRST! The last thing I want is for the thumbnail of this to be a twitter post and idk how to fix that on my phone. So have this thing that I found like 7 years ago before I ever understood it. Which is why I'm writing today! SECONDLY! I know a bait post when I see one. But I've needed to blow the dust off my largely hollowed brain and I thought thisd be a good exercise to stretch my memory and media depth! (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠) In that case I'm gonna bombard you with a bunch of images, currently listening to "Walk Right Back" by XTM & Eva Marti in case you were wondering! (You weren't but IDC it's good (⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠)) I got blasted by this on my TL today, now let's break it down! At face value there's nothing wrong, but being able to read into the whims of others as a former NEET I was already tipped off at "As...

I have work soon so I'm not very happy about that but who cares, i need one of these done!!! I've been feeling very...off... probably because I got my e dose upped after about a week and a half off them because I don't know how prescriptions work! Thanksgiving happened, dgaf, colonizers holiday (US as a whole has more good in it than the entire east coasts history but I'm not picky ┐⁠(⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠)⁠┌) but the eats were good! I bought myself a $25 first gen FD snap together to keep myself preoccupied and to reign in my mind from wherever it tries to haul me off to (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠). Everyone say thank you Aoshima for helping me remember I was gonna write one of these!!! Other than that, there's generally nothing to report! I've been studying how to make flips that sound good, which means listening to a lot of old D2LTA and Gingus. The goal of these is to listen to how I'm supposed to properly mash multiple vocals together, as well as figure out how I want...

Wednesday? November 19th? ITS BEEN A MONTH? maybe this will level me out, I have never felt more frantic mentally in my entire life and I can't really pinpoint why! EP is done by now, I'll probably end up mixing it more and adding like 1-2 sounds to each somewhere but as far as it goes im happy with it and am feeling much better since it's completion. Time between now and a month plus ago feels way longer than it should be, so I'll pick up posting back here to see if I can get my thoughts down to somewhere I feel is worth it y'know? In that time a bunch has happened, bunch of photos sound okay? I never posted about the tape! I was able to obtain a copy of Anthology 1 off of Discogs (the only one that was available) SEALED for $30 total. Containing "Sugar & Spice" from Evolve, my favorite hardcore song of all time, it was incredibly worth it to own the CD responsible for me making music! The Rayquaza collection got updated as wel...

Nothing to report on artistically I suppose (⁠￣w⁠￣⁠), although if I were the guestimating type (which I'm abhorrent at when it comes to music releases as you may know!!!) I would say I'm about 60% done with the new EP. And guess what, you just listened to and believed me (⁠ ⁠╹u⁠╹⁠ ⁠). Now then, SHOWTIME!!!!!!!! I finally have the opportunity to go see Cherry Pit ( who's album you WILL listen to  ಠ⁠ω⁠ಠ) live and I've never been more excited and terrified at the same time!!! I have no idea what scene I'm getting myself into!!! But I survived barricade at a Nettspend show so how much worse can it get from there!!! (⁠・⁠∀⁠・⁠) But on the other hand I do worry about that a little bit, the part of being out of my element. It's a natural concern for going to a show of this caliber and venue, it's nothing like anything I've been to before and I don't know what to expect from other people or how to receive the environment per se (is that how you use that I can ...

.......(￣w⁠￣) (⁠´⁠⊙w⊙⁠`⁠) What does that day say? Oh, September 15th? HUHHHHHH WHAT HAPPEHnd (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) Oh well, some things can't totally be helped, I've been busy after all!  It gets technical and personal but like I mentioned before, IM NOT A TOTAL NEET (likely to some dismay, wait y'all have never seen me what ┐⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠)⁠┌).  I HAVE THINGS TO DO, CLASSES TO ATTEND AND A JOB TO DO FUCK ALL AT (either get paid to stand around or go though Food Service Hell!!!!) Ive finally found a rhythm to it all though so I've been able to work on some music and art while in between it all, I've also been traveling in and out of Roanoke A LOT recently and I WILL be back throughout this month and next, to no travelers discomfort, I love my hometown and will continue to claim it 1000x over as opposed to the cesspool that is Richmond VA!!! So you're probably waiting on an update, and if I failed to allude to it above, uhhhhhh, there really isn't one?  While yes I have...

You remember where I talked about just happening to come across shows or animes that seemed generally interesting for their pricings?  Well, it seems my luck has gradually dwindled across the last few months, with a streak of bad luck across about 3 different series I just happened to take a gamble on ༎⁠‿⁠༎. No you don't get to know what they are!!!!!!!  Because if I tell you, you'll go hunt them down and watch them, and that's worse than me watching them because I will have fed into the interest that EVERYONE HAS that's all like "oh it can't be thattttt badddddd (⁠ಠ_⁠ಠ⁠)⁠ノ" when in reality YES IT CAN BE AND NOBODY EVER LISTENS (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠).  I COULD HOWEVER delve into why they're terrible, but all you really need to know about #1 is that it in tandem with a gatcha game, and overall was the better of the 3, just so incredibly drug out and slow.  #2 however becomes a history lesson, one that warrants its own post under a complete different alias that no on...

Take a look  2014 Chevy Silverado 2500HD, an absolute powerhouse of a vehicle that can't possibly have anything better than 14mpg, which you'd be right, 10!!!!!!!!! But y'know what it does have?  Referencing back to the powerhouse figure, 360HP and 3.8k ft-lbs torque, quite substantial!!! Small Dick?  Don't...have?????? ⁠(⁠´⁠ー⁠｀⁠) Yeah, you know the rigamarole, you've heard it thousands of times and I for one frankly just don't care.  I have ideas, like any normal person would have!  Graps (JAPANESE tires, look em up) & an anime girl across the bed gate in chrome, but alas I can dream! Either way, the point of this rant is quite simple & straightforward, I like what I like, I find things cool for whatever reason I got!!!!!!!   Throughout my time posting a bunch of stuff on Instagram and music as well, you'll find my styles REALLY REALLY don't conform to any one side of anything... stylistically? (Is that the word??? (⁠*⁠﹏⁠*⁠;⁠)) I par...

Currently listening to this , I want you (yes, YOU, Adobe Flash fan new & old ಠ⁠ω⁠ಠ) to tell me you don't envision some sort of edit over top of it that you can only watch in 360p or less.  While I'm currently listening to that I'm also staring at The Internet archive combing through Adobe products, specifically looking for a copy of Director, as a grandiose idea has struck me. I think I ought to make some kind of Flash content, as best as I can in the modern era.  Part of the reason being is that you can learn about a lot of bits of culture solely through (what was kind of the original) short form content.  Ignoring the fact that I keep saying "content", I initially started to learn about some of the genres I listen to now through a lot of Flash animations, one of which that I saw many many years ago in the wild, will either be re-uploaded to YouTube, or will be featured in a set at some point (it's long enough for it!  And the audio fidelity is better th...

At the time this comes out, the new EP should be out on Spotify at very least.  For some inexplicable reason, YouTube Music was NOT the first service to get everything posted!? I wanna start by saying thank you to everyone I ran stuff by and who I've come up with hard, Freya, Blu, Phamian (we never gonna fully see eye 2 eye but tbh we don't fuckin care 💪), my Sister, Bryan (I love you, please tell me you're not using Caustic still), Grey, Wawa (you know, big unc is watching), Apollo, Apollo / Jordy, Natalie (of Cherry Pit fame, I make rap but you know I fw the vision hard!) &  Boosted (day mf ONEEE we were makin bullshit (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠)) y'all fucking rock and thank u for genuinely believeing my stuff sounded good, it's gonna get a whole lot better & I wanna keep working & hanging out w/y'all! Secondly, for the EP about my PC, could literally have not made it without it, thank you so unbelievably much Alyssa.  For one I keep going back & making little...

Last post was July 18th, I don't remember why I was falling apart with consistency (⁠・⁠–⁠・⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ This one's quite link heavy too, but for the context of it all I suggest you listen along as they appear (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) Anyways, subject at hand, I don't know if I ever mentioned it but there is a Flash era arcade racer I grew up on called Super Drift (1-3) that featured music that has since caught up with me all these years later.  Most known for its opening theme, Super Drift features " Trust - A Eurobeat Mix " a song by Ayumi Hamasaki on Super Eurobeat's ayu-ro mix album from 2000 (which imo, is peak years of Eurobeat (⁠￣w⁠￣⁠)). Actually I wanna focus on 2 songs for a second, cuz this game features my favorite song of all time, a slightly faster mix of Evolve's " Sugar & Spice ", overall a prime example of Happy Hardcore that (per Discogs) was one of 2 songs the group made before splitting up.  I personally believe that if it weren't for t...

Another thing I tend to not let on about is how much I love the idea of a railroad, always have and always will! I've been out of town recently, and will be for the next few days, so I decided to get some train spotting in while I had good vantages and time to spare (all day (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ). Spots are as follows: Mostly rolling stock Old Conrail leftover, refurbed by a welding firm 2 iterations of N&W 2-bay Hopper cars, old and slightly-less-old, as well as a pair of almost obsoleted High Top open top Hoppers, which were used for transporting large ammounts of light loose material such as wood chips, usually required special loaders. finally, while quite far away, I got a photo of one of my favorite locomotives, restored by a local rail history chapter, a singular EMD GP30 high hood. Not pictured - 2 EMD SD60E's - 3 stored SD70M-2's - 1 D9-44CW, one of a handful of remaining original 9-44CW units with just a simple power update, create...

If I ever come back to eat those words I'll make sure to delete this one, but I HIGHLY doubt it (⁠◠⁠‿⁠◕⁠).  I've mentioned before that I CAN in fact sing (and half decently if I do say so myself :P), I just choose not to.  As to why, I believe that I have nothing important to say that hasn't already been said by an artist I draw direct influence from, and while yes you can make the argument of "you're your own person with ideas", I feel like those ideas and efforts are best expressed in my compositions rather than conventionally through words.  My idea is that this leaves the work of understanding my music up to you, meaning you have to actually process what's coming at you tonally to comprehend feeling, instead of trying to dissect wordings, similar to classical music!   (⁠・w⁠・⁠) Probably one of the best examples of a modern artist doing this is Cranes , who aside from producing also writes very stylized, variety filled albums that are designed to let the...

I've been racking my brain quite a bit in the past few days (⁠╯⁠°⁠□⁠°⁠）⁠╯⁠︵⁠ ⁠┻⁠━⁠┻, mostly because of a singular Instagram story my friend posted (which is not at all related to the situation in front of me (⁠ヘ⁠･⁠_⁠･⁠)⁠ヘ⁠┳⁠━⁠┳ ) but moreso about the song being used in it, another Trance classic, reclaimed as downtempo and slightly remixed by some modern age Brazilian DJ.  I have absolutely no issue with the latter, I think it's better that people decided to make stuff like it to spread it around to new and old fans, it's more the fact that I cannot FOR THE LIFE OF ME, TRACK DOWN THE ORIGINAL MIX ( ⁠✧⁠Д⁠✧⁠)!!! When I'm presented with songs I don't know, I will always try to go to as many lengths as physically possible to naturally hunt it down, dissecting any lyrics or physical information I can find about them, before I ever go to Shazam or similar as a last resort.  While I'm at about a 50:50 success rate in this method of searching for my favorite tunes, some...

Hello there, the app broke so all of this is written on the webpage!  Hence why it looks like this and awful! (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)   To be honest, I think I'm about done producing unless it's just for fun or for people who really want it.  In turn, I have a lot of work ahead of me, but the end goal will be eternally worth it for me. I want to quit producing modern stuff and work on reviving (to the best of my ability of course :P) classic Makina & Hardstyle music.  I've been experimenting with it for awhile since getting into it around about 2023 but haven't felt the drive for it as much as I do now, all of this is thanks to a friends tattoo artist who I really connected with over a tattoo I want even getting! As for what instilled this interest in a revival of sorts, I along with some other people have wanted to return to the roots of what made the classics so good on spiritual and community levels.  So essentially, it's like a nostalgia project, but I wanna ma...

The last time I posted to this thing was almost 2 whole weeks ಠಿ⁠_⁠ಠಿ... I just wanna start by saying I'm sorry if I've been weird lol, I had a bit of an ego break over the PC (which small TL:DR, is a crucial part of my life) and not being able to fix it within my means.  On the bright side, I took the time to truly free myself of my entire life and take a much needed cleanse hike, got in touch with myself much better than initially, and played so much Luigi's Mansion Dark Moon it's intoxicatingly amusing how much progress I made on my 4th playthrough. Coming back I was ready to go the distances to get things put back together, so about 2 days ago I fired up the disk reader and ended up blowing away all 2 HDD'S to fully destroy the root of my issues.  While it saddens me that everything I've worked for over the past 4 years is gone, it's already quite evident to me that I have a new and fresh start, it's what I've wanted, and I'm gonna take it.  ...