Posts

I'm gonna keep writing

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I haven't been making a wholllleee lot of music recently, just smashing out beats and not really finishing them, next project has kind of stagnated too. I've got the beats I want for it, but I do actually want to put lyrics to them, and have no idea where to start, on top of the fact I mix like total garbage (⁠๑⁠¯w¯⁠;;;๑⁠). Songwriting, like...honest to god songwriting, is wicked crazy hard as I'm learning, but I also don't know if I'm making it harder that it needs be, I have people and other things than can always help me with it but the whole process and even thinking about it is slowly burning through me, but I'll make it work I guess? One thing I'd say I want to work on is both getting ideas out and being able to finish those ideas, I'm not sure how to explain that without making my own head soon even though it's my own thought, but there is a proposed beginning and end to that problem and it's just up to us both to figure out the middle I s...
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this was FOB reference title #3 before I changed it

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Sorry it's been a long while since I've actually shared one of these with y'all. But that's partially why I'm writing it, just havent had anything to talk about really (⁠￣⁠ヘ⁠￣⁠;⁠). Luckily for you all to hear, I've been trying to force myself to enjoy life outside and away from making music for a little bit to help cleanse myself from the monotony of my plugg stuff and a bunch of other stuff I've had sidelined. But in the advent of having nothing pressing to think about, such as "oh what I'm I gonna write this on? What sounds do I want it to convey?" I've managed to put myself back into a loop of thinking about my past with people. For starters, I'm going to be setting myself up with therapy soon, even though my music is wordless and I don't let on easy, if you pay enough attention it's about time and I've needed it. Music hasnt been a catalyst but I haven't been performing at my best because I've been ov...
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a forever loop of love & "what if"

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Since starting the flip projects ontop of some original songs, I've largely nailed down the typical patterns that go into them. I've played these games before, a back & forth of confidence in others to move a certain way, to somehow pry for a reaction to something. I have a hard time telling what's real in others and I feel bad about it, but doesn't everybody have some kind of difficulty with that? It's like I don't want to totally open up until I fully trust that I won't be screwed by it, it's bit me in the back before and if it's preventable I'd like to keep it that way. And I know everyone wants that easy connection to others, I mean that's how you make friends y'know, but going further than that or using it as a footstool has always felt like a cheap shot. So that's the goal of flips that I'm working on, I've really been bored with not being able to put words to my own music properly so I sidelined it again to try and...
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